Gaze at WanzazziL

Bithing Story - Iris Nur Adelia Pt. 2

2011-07-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

Ha....lama ke tidak noq br nk hupdate cite nk branak ni..anak pn dh pandai berguling2 dh..seb bek la ak x tunggu smpi anak dh masuk keje br nk hapdate kn..tu namenye dh nyanyuk..sambung kt mane?? sambung kt potong kn??

ok..pas masuk balik dr. Idora, dier seluk la mcm "nobody's business"tu kn...ak nk tunjuk muke sakit nnti nampak x cool so ak tahan je la kn wpun mmg sakit yer..dh beria dier menyeluk mcm kepala sendiri leh masuk, dier leh kata x bukak dh..abes tutup..0 cm...nk kata ape?? dier ty klu ak willing nk ceaser, dier leh do the necessary sbb it seems that our baby mmg xnk kuar normal nie wpun position x breach..apelagi..ak ni dh serabut dh..anak yg dinanti2 berkurun lamanya x dpt jumpe2 lagi..org nk kata ak ni berebut nk beranak gk sbb kawan ak sorg lagi pn branak..sukati kolah, ko ada mulut..tp yg pasti nye xde sape nk suke2 beranak ceaser klu leh normal and nk kuar duit double suka2 ati mcm laki ak cop duit..(ni ayat standard mak2) stakat nk timang anak same ngan org len...i wanna see my dear baby's face...i lost her sister..it took us 2 yrs of marriage to hold a baby in my arm...those yg sesedap mulut n tekak tu, ada lah bahagian ko nnti dr yang Esa...

Thus, arrangement was made after I said " yes, ceaser"..not ceaser salad ok...x semudah itu, ceaserean tomorrow...dr. sblom tu ty nk hari ni ke esok..klu arini (28/2), jam time tu dh pukul 1 dh..dh santak sgt...mcm org ajak gi bowling je ak rs..tp dlm case ni nk branak, kna pk pjg skit..so i told dr. i want to do it tomorrow since the date mcm cantik je 1 March..kebetulan terbalik ngan anak adik ipar Mohd Raqhiem Asmu'i yang lahir pada 3 Januari...(1/3 and 3/1) coincidence...so, pas lunch tghari tu, kitorang balik rumah dulu..nk rileks jap, tdo dulu...penat smalam x abes lg...mmg flat ok..terlelap smpi nk dkt margrib..dr. kata leh check in anytime tp klu boleh sblm kul 10mlm...ptg tu dpt tau Aini Qamariah dh bersalin..dpt tau pn dr husband dier..alhamdulillah..azab Aini dh lepas time tu...siap2 sume..tros shoot balik ke PMC check in...tetibe mak lang call nk dtg lawat...sok dh bersalin dh lain...mmg terharu la maklang leh dtg dr jauh2 langkawi nun nk menyambut bersame2 baby ni..credit to maklang and family...

Ha, dh tertinggal satu isi penting, time nk check in nurse kata single room fully-booked tinggal yg double bed je..kitorang prefer single room sbb nye nnti family 2-2 side dh berkumpul, dh riuh rendah, xde la nnti neighbour next bed nk "shhhhhhhh..." annoying ok...privacy skit lgpun, tp xpelah..sementara nk tunggu esok org kuar...grabbbbb la ape je yg ada. besok br boleh tuka bilik nurse kata...so, i check in la dalam bilik yg neighbour dh sedia ada kt dalam..br bersalin, chinese....dier nye regulation spouse x leh nk stay klu shared room, smpi my husband kna tdo kt bilik menunggu..tp org seblah ni rilek je sbb time2 ak nk lelap ada dengar sore jantan okeh...time tu anak dier melalak2 xleh tdo...nk marah xleh la sok nasib awak pn mungkin same je...so diam je la...wpun susah skit nk tdo..

6 pg, 1 Mac 2011

subuh tu ak nekad gak smayg subuh pas mandi time pukul 6 tu wpun telekung xde, sbbnye ak tkt tu la solat ak yg terakhir..bkn nk drama tp ak mmg cuak..called hubby yg tdo bilik menunggu kt yng i dh siap mandi sume dier leh masuk..sementara nk tunggu nurse dtg usung bed ak tu gi op room...mcm2 ayat dh bc ni dh mcm bomoh...dalam kul 7 nurse dtg dgn senyuman semanis kurma sorong bed turun op room...ak yg dh siap ngan op attire tu tunggu lah nur nk bius baik punye kt back spine...dier siap ajar la mcmane nk tunduk sume..my hubby akan di"cue"kn bile nk masuk n dh diberi baju gak siap ngan shower cap..hehe..klaka plak..mcm cite grey's anatomy..time dh siap bius n nk gi masuk bilik operation tu, ak rs mcm kaki ak ni leh gerak2 lagi, ak leh gerakkan kaki tu..ak dh cuak dh kang dier belah ak, ak rs, mau ak jerit x ingat dunia ni kn..dh mcm yenna yenni plak nnti...tp dier explain, u boleh gerak tp you x leh rs pedih...gile taksub la skejap dengan penemuan bidang perubatan ni...wpun dh lama dorang ada finding ni..org yg jakun mcm ak br nk tertaksub...

Sampai je kt dalam bilik op tu, ak taksub lagi..bilik tu well-equipped im telling you...serious mcm game my hospital yang ak main..lampu limpah atas kepala ak ni kecik skit je dr lampu stadium..heeh...hiperbola ok..pastu ngan nurse2 lelaki yng dh pakai2 baju2 ijau..shower cap jgn cite la..sume ada sendiri punye...mau dkt 10 org dalam bilik ak tu...dr idora greeted good morning...ak tgk dier pakai boot phua chu kang je...rileks btol sbb selama ni ak tgk dier pakai ayu2, kt dalam tu masing2 mcm kt pasar ok...dier ckp dont worry..it wont take long...ak mengucap byk2 dh...dorang pn cover la from chest down so ak x nampak la dorg tengah belah perut ak...

My husband was allowed to enter into the room..dier ckp time dier masuk tu dier nampak limpa ak...(dier cite pas dh operation la)..time tu mmg ak excited nk tunggu baby nangis tu..tp at the same time ak ngantuk sbb ak terlentang n aircond sejuk..ak jadi lenguh pn ada..cpt la dorang settle..ak nk tdo yng btol2 tu...dr. ckap tahan skit k i nk tolak your baby ke bawah...mmg dier tolak all out ok sbb ak rs sakit dada....dr. idora sebut "Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar., for the very first time, i heard her crying voice.....Iris Nur Adelia shows herself in front of my eyes...rambut lebat dier mmg the first thing i notice...and muke dier smpi skrg x byk beza ngan yg first time i tgk dier tu...husband i yng slama kt dalam bilik tu dok cium dahi and pegang tgn i senyum...(leh tau la senyum wpun pakai tutup mulut tu)..the male nurse tu bisik kt telinga i " Anak you perempuan and i tgk sendiri and then dorang proceed nk gi sedut dalam idung sume tu..my husband ikut skali..i kna tunggu la dorang nk jahit balik pe sume x leh la ikut kn..mau berterabut isi perut tu..ehehhe..smpi ak ty dr len kt dalam tu"lama lagi ke?" dier ckp dalam half n hour...lama gak tu...pastu male nurse td ada masuk balik and dr. idora ty, baby ok? dier jwab baby ok...pas dh setel sume dier bwk i ke satu bilik mcm bilik yg nk bg ak ni dh btol2 ok sblom dibwa ke bilik...yang i igt, i mmg menggigil2 sejuk..lama gak dorang thn i kt sane nth knape lama sgt ntah..terlupe kot yg ak ni nk tgk ank ak...dr pukul 9 ke 11, dok la situ x wat pape kesejukkan...pastu br dorang tolak nek atas kt ward bersalin...

Naik je atas i nmpak husband i kt counter tu tgk cakap ape ntah..opss silap tgh tepon sedara mara...i nampak mama n umi ada tgh pegang baby....then, for the very first time i held her in my arms and there you are, my world's paradise and she held my fingers, my Iris Nur Adelia, thank you Allah for the greatest gift you ever given me...Alhamdulillah....:)

Birthing Story - Iris Nur Adelia Pt. 1

2011-03-20T00:27:00.000-07:00

Assalammualaikum sume,

It's been heck of time that last visited my own blog..apatah lagi nk menulis kn..dh selamat bersalin ni, rupenye, byk benda nk kne hadap rupenye..ngan baby yang agak baik, xde la tension sgt cume dier jaga2 malam ikut2 suke tu yg wat mata ni bersengkang x cukup tdo..tp agaknya after warded 2.5days kt hospital, asal baby hek hek skit je tekan loceng panggil nurse, anto baby nursery..kt rumah ketuk bilik mak sendiri suh check out baby apsal nangis...hehe..tp dalam menjangkau 15 hari usia baby, byk benda dh blaja rasenye..

My intention writing this post is to share my birthing story wpun ada part2 yang drama klakar, tp its good to share with you peeps out there for information sharing also for easy reading je..my birthing story started on 23/2/11...

23/2/11, 8 pm

Awal kn story morry ni...time ni ada rs contraction pas margrib...pastu gi tau husband dier kta kite dh kna gi spital ke?? i nye barang x brape nk pack ni...i pack ek? excited btol laki ak ni nk dpt anak..so, i know la dier mmg excited slama ni cume x nk tunjuk sgt..pas tgk raja lawak skit2, dalam 9.30 tu mcm rs contraction kerap kali dtg..klu 10 tros bergegas ke Pantai KL..

Sampai pantai adalah dalam 25 mins or so..tros gi emergency counter sbb mmg Azie, nurse Dr. Idora dh inform dh klu sakit2 malam2 pas kul 9, gi emergency counter tros ye..smpai kt situ, ak xde la rs mcm dalam cite tv org beria2 tarik nafas mcm nk branak sgt...tp nurse India kt situ ckp, "Miss, you have to sit on the wheelchair..."ak reply "But I can still walk, let me just walk la...funny la.."Dier insist"No, No. you sit..I'll take you there..."..Malas la ak nk bertekak ngan dier malam2 buta ngan ak dok rs sakit2 ni..tros dier bwk ak ke labour room ko!! nk gi check contraction katanya...whilst husband on the way dr car park sume..machine CTG tu measure la contraction kerap mane pastu ada la graph paper kuar..the highest peak is 40..mmg sakit la time tu tp the lowest cecah 8-12..unit of measurement x sure la hape...nurse kata contraction ada tp x la smpi 100..hehe..nk kna smpi seratus ke br dier nk wat pape...dier ckp sok jumpe dr. Idora, mntak advice dier mcmane kna warded ke ape, tp klu contraction mcm ni amik mase gak...

Drpd berabes duit tdo hospital yang bilik x besar mane, baiklah balik dulu leh ke depan ke belakang kt rumah sementara nk tunggu contraction tu intense...smpi 100 katanya...dh klaka dh ..husband pn kata kite balik je dulu, brg sume dh pack dalam keta..klu sakit nnti kite tros shoot balik kul 3-4pg pn xpe...sabar betol laki ak ni..ak igt klu sakit ak tunggu esok je la at least dpt tdo lame skit...so kami pn balik...

24/2/11, 12 tghari

Bkn 12 tghari br bgn, gedebak gedebuk dalam kul 12, kitorg pn berangkat ke Pantai Bangsar again for check up...Dr. Idora said, it's ur 38th week going o 39th, contraction u smalam ni not bad, ur baby is about to pop out soon...dalam ati ni, Yeke? tp arini elok la plak..contraction dtg pegi ikut sesuka ati...Dr. Idora expect tomorrow or the following day dh leh branak and I asked, " Klu induction, will it expedite the process..I heard it's widely used now..." Dr. Idora senyum sokmo, dier ckp "yes, it's widely used and recomended...looks like ur eager to see you baby...given the history of the previous pregnancy...do you want to go for induction??" Ak pandang laki ak, laki ak pndang ak, angguk..." Ok then Dr...maybe around tomorrow tops, I can see my baby around this time...time tu dh dkt kul 2...besok pn 25 hb...wah leh la baby ni birth date same ngan kakak dier, Jannah 25/6, papa ngan ibu share birthdate 30 hb...berangan pjg plak ak..

Dr. Idora ty lagi, " When do you plan to check in? " Wah.., mcm masuk hotel plak wpun rate nye rate hotel kn.."We're all packed since yesterday...can we can in today and after we take our lunch" " Anytime dear.."..dier tros kol labour ward tgk ada kosong ke ape, tros dier ckp ngan ak ada..kitorang grab something kt bawah pastu tros reg masuk..time tu downpayment 3k..sbb plan branak normal..tros nek tingkat 2c, check in single room yang tv kecik 14 inci tu...boleh la.bkn dtg nk holiday, dtg nk branak....pas x smpi stgh jam, Dr. Idora dtg smbt my first tablet to induce labor..sblm tu dier masuk enema yg bg gesa nk terberi tros tu..wah, my husband very the interested in that thing, dier kata klu benda ni pas makan tros gune, leh kurus ni...

After an hour, dh rs dh contraction menggila, ada la dalam 50 peak..tu pun dh sakit, mcmane la rs contraction 100..yang nurse dok sorong troli isi thermometer ngan benda nk cek darah tinggi tu dtg selang 2 jam...malam tu dr. dtg x silap, dier check dier ckp dh bkk 1 cm..wah 4 jam 1 cm ek...mau malam esok branak..malam tu ayah ngan mama, MIL and FIL ngan SIL dtg bagi moral sapot..dorang dtg berkampung..niat SIL nk eksen leh minum starbucks dpn kite..tp dier x tau kite awal2 dh suh husband angkat Caramel Macchiato venti lagi..mama ngan ayah bawak pizza hut plak..dh lama x makan island supreme sbb byk nenas tp mama kata dh nk branak dh..makan sume...

Tgh malam tu, menggila lagi contraction...wah sakit betul nk branak..br la rs insaf ye tertinggi2 suara kt mak sendiri..bile nurse cek lg, 1cm lg...menahan contraction x abes2, smpi tertdo sendiri..smpi ke pg...

25/2/11, 3pg

Nurse mmg la dok kuar masuk x abes2, blom lagi cite cleaner nk cuci toilet la ape la..sian tgk husband terbaring kt bawah berlapik toto kesejukkan..besok nye pagi2 dalam kul 7, nurse dtg check bawah nun, wah 1 cm ye...nk cite ape berlaku 27/2 ni mmg pjg. dengan hujan nye..pagi tu dr. idora ckp it's progressing beautifully, tp sbb first timer, kte masuk lagi satu tablet ek..yang ak ni dok ty soklan, agak2 ptg ni leh branak ke dr.? dr. tu snyum je, agaknya 10 org patient mcm ak ni, ilang sabar dier yg penyabar tu...dier ckp insyallah..dont stress out...

Dh dier ckp ngan stress, ak elok la dok tgk tv, siap ada cite pasal pengantin ke hape jumaat pg tu, time tu umi (auntie) ngan mama dtg melawat...dorg pn sronok la menengok cite tu gk...menjelang ptg, dr. check, kelakar ke ntah hape, awak nye opening dh tutup la..hehe..elok2 1cm nk masuk 2, ni balik 0cm..hahah..nk gelak pn ada, nk bengang pn ada...dr. ckp, why don't you take a rest, have a hommy environment, maybe it's very stressful staying in the hosp room..ak paham la..discharge la sng...sbb nye hosp bil jalan ni, branak x tentu branak...ak dh congak2 time tu, ak nye arge bilik cmpur ngan branak normal, leh sama ngan branak operate...so, husband settle hosp bil..seb bek la x sbyk yg kitorg expect...under budget..so, kitorang bergerak pulang ke putrajaya...dr. ckp klu tetibe skt sgt2, tros shoot balik dtg pantai..or else, i need to see you in monday, 28/2.adoi..dh terasa mcm bangsar ngan putrajaya tu sblah menyebelah je time tu..

Betul tau, balik rumah je, rs agak relaxed..tgk tv, tgk raja lawak..tp mmg contraction tu ada lg wpun dh tutup ocm tu..xleh nk jalan mcm org biase..tp xpela...dalam rumah sendiri xkn nk berlari kn...hehe

26 & 27 / 2/ 2011

Mmg duduk rumah x wat ape la...husband gi tolong adik ipar pindah rumah kt Ampang ke Pandan..nesting instinct tu dh mai sbb time tu terasa nk gosok baju husband untuk semnggu...smbil2 bermsg2 ngan Aini Qamariah yang tgh menunggu buah x jatuh kt HTAR...hehe..katanya nasib dier leh tau esok, ak ni pn esok gak la penentu segalanya....

28/2/11
Husband mmg x keje la dr Rabu lepas smpi la ke arini, dok rumah, bgn lambat2, nk tunggu appointment ngan Dr. Idora kul 2, sementara tu pack2 gak ape yg dh bawak kuar dr keta...baju pn siap dh basuh, mmg setel sume benda.Terdetik dalam ati, maybe Allah xbg ak branak lagi sbb ritu ada gak x setel baju, jiwa kali ni btol2 tenang..

Aini sms kata dier dh siap scan tp baby songsang, so klu kul 2 nye scan x tuka gak, tros gi bilik bedah kt sebelah..cmtu la lebih kurang...alamak, ak dh cuak.dier nye nasib dh ktahuan...

Smpi je kt pantai bangsar, nurse Dr., Azie, dier dh panggil siap2 suh wat CTG tu...masuk bilik dpn bilik Dr. Dr. masuk tgk, awal nye contraction makin menurun tp heartbeat baby stable...husband I ty, klu kite tros tunggu, leh efek baby x and in the end ada x chances nk normal ? Ak ty plak its better to have elective ceasarean than emergency ceaser kn? other than its more costly, tingkap bukak, pintu pn bukak...so, Dr. suh kitorang masuk bilik dier...keputusan akan di buat pas dier nk seluk one more time....klu x, POTONG!

To be continued...pjg sgt..ak yg x reti nk pendek2 kn cite...

Patience is a virtue...:)

2011-02-17T05:41:00.000-08:00

As of now, uncountable no. of ppl I know either have given birth or have been warded at the hospital to deliver tomorrow tops...me, on the other hand, waiting for my indefinite time to deliver, yet, no sign indicating it's gonna be anytime soon..anyhow, patience is a virtue i suppose....

Being tensed is the last the thing I would want to feel but I ain't no angel, my excitement waiting for my newborn is rising and rising as Im now into my 37th week of pregnancy, but, baby is indeed more excited to stay in my womb comfortably..I realize, "HE" knows best and baby would want to be nourished more in the tummy before being born..but I really hope it's going to happen really soon...baby, i want to see you so bad and hold you in my arms and the long awaiting sweetheart can hold my finger in her grasp...oh boy, how wonderful would it be....

I've been betting with myself everyday especially when I woke up in the middle of the nite to pee, could tonite be the nite? Will there be any chance that we have to rush to the hospital when there's bloody show or water bag breaks...? The answer is still, I headed to bed with ease of post-pee and continued my sleep...not tensed but eager to the max makes my feel like exploded and rained with question, when?when?when?But again, patience is a virtue I suppose...

Baby, it's beyond impossible that you could read, let alone reading what I wrote here...but what my i jot here is exactly what I feel and would want to say out loud...I love you like there's nothing in comparison, seeing you before my eyes is what Ive been dreaming of forever...you could be crying or smiling when I hold you for the first time, but what Im very sure about is that you'd be bringing happy tears to my eyes and I hope it will happen anytime soon..Insyallah...

You shy little creature~

2011-01-16T01:06:00.000-08:00

Hello again..lama gile x tulis...niat ati nk tulis tp x tergerak2 nk buat tp x adil for my baby...i met my shy little creature yesterday for my check up at 32nd week with Dr. Idora...but kali ni baby malu2 la...dier leh cover plak muke dier ngan tangan..." no camera please"...

Dalam keadaan telentang bagai time scan tu, mane la nk paham sgt ape yg ada kt screen tu...paham x paham je time tu..pic follows speaks for itself. 2 tgn tu cover muke dier x nk tunjuk muka kt ibu n papa...xpe...pompuan, biar malu2 skit...hehe...

Nk tulis byk lg ni tp x larat sbb mcm flu kembali melanda...btol2 dugaan pregnant ni..senang demm..xpe, maybe the video below shows better view of my baby..next check up scheduled in 2 weeks...byk benda lined up for the next few weeks...dengan nk pindah rumah baru lg...i'll update ill the next post...dh usha dh rumah tu...besar x hengat smpi dok pk puas la nk menyapu n mop rumah nnti...tp xpe la..rezeki baby nk masuk pindah tros rumah br...hehehe...

Aggravated.

2010-12-09T19:10:00.000-08:00

Mane nk start ni pn x sure...been a while since i penned down here..many things happened..nk upload gamba baby but dr. idora forgot to put them inside the CD..nk scan bagai takes time la kn since i dont own any scanning machine and has to request boss' PA to do it for me..kantoi plak nampak x wat keje ke ape kn..anyway, I did visit the dr. again 2 weeks ago with the pics in the CD provided, but still, xde kudrat la nk reka ayat sbb my back is aching like nobody's buss...getting sleepless nite is not the case just yet but kinda uncomfortable to position myself to let me go to sleep...but anyhow, untuk my baby, whatever brings..ibu x kisah ok..

I don't know whether this pregnancy makes me act weird around ppl or ppl around me has been weird forever...i got so pissed off with so many ppl and it makes me sick to know that they try to pull out conflicts with an expecting mother like me..im not saying im a victim here but come on, I have no strength to go all out in a row..im heavy and big and only care about my baby right now...im still saying things unclearly for you to understand but listen to this..instead of posting my baby 4d pic here in my blog, I did post it to my Facebook..easier, not much description should be narrated..straight-forward. With no intention at all to show off because at only 6 going to 7 month of pregnancy, only I did it, and nothing to brag about..I was only my lil cutie pie's face in shadowy 3d version that can be seen..what pisses me off the most is that ppl commented in such a way that is very offensive...since i noted that that I think the baby looks like her papa...a very insensitive comment struck when a "fren" quoted that " so muke jawa ko?" "bau tempe"...something like that...not that i remember word by word...but why?? why are you such an ass??

Ive been waiting forever to have my own baby, I lost my babies before and the experiences were no fun at all...yes, my husband ancestry is javanese...he doesn't speak the languange but he carries the genes..and i dont see there's something wrong with it..but, you, who thinks you do everything better than everyone else everytime, has no right to say anything as such..your comments hurt and i don't know why on earth you think it's funny. You, insensitive jerk, get a life and I feel so much relieved when something back ridden me..has been removed, permanently. When we're not as close as before, I cn really see you true colors and it's ugly...

I always hope that my baby will be fine instead of all the negative sayings even intentionally or unintentionally...you have your joy..let me have mine and I didnt beg anyone to please me, but Allah please me with his gift and Id like to enjoy it when she arrives...i hope you leave me alone forever.

Im aggravated when I shouldn't be during my pregnancy. Insyallah the feeling will slowly go away ...

Knowing your gender...:)

2010-10-04T06:25:00.002-07:00

Hellllooooo...selamat hari raya...i think its not too late for me to wish happy eid to all...last week's main focus was to see the new doctor that we discovered...as we always opted, female and muslim gynae..nothing against the non-muslims, even the best gynae in Malaysia is an Indian..but im looking foward to have prayers recited to calm me down when ill be in labour...therefore, a fren of mine suggested, Dr. Idora Mohamad from Pantai Medical Centre Bangsar..

Having no idea how she look like, we gambled and were there at the hospital as early as 7.30 in the morning as we wouldnt want to queue until late afternoon to see an exhausted doctor..being that early secured us the 1st place to go see her that day..my husband suggested we should have morning bfast after registering at 8am and ate mee goreng and nasi lemak downstairs..anyway, cut it short...8.30 mcm tu dh setel makan..so, made our way up to level 4, block B, room 441 to wait for the doctor...around 8.45, there was this lady, thin, with tudung with blouse and dressed casually walked into the room..but she managed to craft a smile on her face when she saw us...my husband asked, " tu ke idora...muda ek.." unconfidently i replied, " staff dier kot..apsal muda sgt..tp maybe die kot.."

around 9am, a staff nurse wearing blue nurse attire asked me to follow her.."dik nk timbang badan dulu jom.." they are all frenly there..many nurses ive encoutered at the hospital had been nothing but great..i thought thats the price i paid for..great hospitality...my weight..x yah cite la tp nek la skit sejak posa..posa turun 1/2 kilo...
then i was straightaway called to see doctor...dalam hati dok kata, betul la dier ni dr. nye...She greeted us with a smile on her face...very soothing and calming smile...she asked about my medical history..a lil bit of family medical backgrounds...and was glad to know that i used to see dr. patrick chia...a very reputable and renowned gynae..

She then wanted to scan my tummy...she said, "everything seems great..the baby is very active, nampak tu dier pusing..skejap atas, skejap bawah.."..huisshh. i pandang my husband, "tgk anak you..."..husband i jelir2 lidah mcm budak kena ejek balas balik kt kawan dier..." is it possible to check the gender of the baby..?" benda ni la dok men dalam kepala ak...tunggu masa je nk kuar..." urm...the baby is still small but as i can see here, it's very suggestive that it's a ....(like a drumroll playing in my head)...gurl!" I was like, "really?? mane nk tgk dr.??" she focus the thing in between the legs...if its a boy, sure id have seen the bird flying around...but she showed me like the vagina lips..a definite girl...i giggled...i didn't put any preference..i even thought that id have a boy..but for the last couple of days, i always thought its a girl...mother's instinct always unquestionable...

Dr. Idora did explained and showed us a few other things..."everything works fine and the baby is beautifully formed." Alhamdulillah...alhamdulillah...no one else to praise but Him..after 25 minutes consultation, we thanked the dr. walked out of the room with big smiles on our faces...mission accomplished..gender known..baby's healthy...shopping!!!! but not right after that..esok2 la kot kononnye...we liaise with Azie, the nurse of Dr. Idora and scheduled for the appointment...suprisingly, kt luar berduyun okeh orang tunggu turn nk dtg jumpe dier...seb baik la dtg awal...len kali pn leh la dtg time same...janji x queue pjg mcm org len...
Ok...i think thats all folks...for now.Alhamdulillah...the baby will be loved and cherished as long as we live..its not the matter of the gender, its the wholesomeness and the health of the baby that matters...Ill be seeing you again insyallah in 4 weeks time...till then sayang, ibu loves you more and more everyday..thanks for the joy you bring even before you're born...and 4 months down the road..we'll meet eye to eye..the moment im waiting for all my life..again, thanks Allah....

It could cost me the whole world but it's worth it!

2010-08-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

Hello all...my antenatal check up on 24/8 went smoothly..had the blood taken for blood test to check down synd. etc. This is accompanied with ultrasound scan to check the presence of nasal bone (the term could be wrong..hey, i ain't no doctor..hehe) we arrived at the clinic at around 9.45 and the appointment was at 10. exactly 10, we were called up. I had to 'ponteng posa" since the scanning device need to be inserted into "you-know-where" and i'd be much clearer from that position...anyway, it was indeed clear. I saw my baby's legs, arms, abdomen, and the biggest of all is the head...it should be approx. 1/3 of the whole body..everything seems great..normal heartbeat per minute, presence of nasal bone, but gender, nah, we couldnt see that...the baby was crossing her legs and there's no way we could see his birdy or camel toe..

The nurse then took my blood..twice!! first from my left vein which didnt provide much, and another one from the right hand vein..which provided a lot!! i was given freebis, a bag full of anmum products..though i prefer enfamama better, what the heck..those are for free..the time comes when bill arrived and it cost us..quite a handsome number...hehe...muke kna cool, even my husband was even more cool...hehehe..but above all, the health of the baby comes way ahead than money that we pay..it's something money cant buy...

After settling the bills, we paid a short visit to cold storage down stairs, grab something to eat..i had a hotdog and some other things that i can eat during my husband's outstation to Kemaman...*sigh*..will be having another appointment after raya..im looking forward to find out the gender of the baby..:-)

Hye again cutie pie...

2010-08-14T22:39:00.000-07:00

Hye again readers!! This would be another short update of my baby's development...as the baby marches into the 11 weeks of the pregnancy, all I can say my cutie pie is doing great...my husband and I met dr. partick again for the 2nd time and i was all convinced that he's the one that im gonna be seeing and delivering my baby with...though we had a 2nd thought of having a female malay dr. for the birth, we suddenly changed our mind and gonna stick to it...changes will make things become chaotic and its good that we settle down with one right now..after all time moves so fast and we need to catch up with other important things too...As Ramadhan revisits us again, praise to Allah that as off now, Im still able to perform "puasa" though it'd say it's a lil tiring only(neither hungry nor thirsty). Insyallah, i hope for the first time ever since i reach my puberty, i can fast for the whole Ramadhan...(pjg btol, puasa penuh sng cite..). This holy month has its own blessing and I hope that everything goes on well...to my baby, it's good to know that you're doing fine inside of me and i promise that instead of my womb, you'll be having a better place to stay when you're born into this world..:)

Hello sayang....

2010-07-24T02:11:00.000-07:00

Where do i start?? Ok..it's Saturday morning...we woke up early for Subuh and smbung tdo for the next 1 hour..kononnye...my husband tdo sakan la berdengkur sume...but i couldnt sleep...the anxiety and excitement kicked in. i was really looking forward for the 1st antenatal check up with dr. patrick...so, what i did to kill the time was watching desperate housewives season 6 part lynette dh nk branak...great!!! 45 minutes later, it was still early to get ready..so i ironed some clothes for the day and clock showed 8.15. Husband nye alarm dh bunyi dh tp tuan dier wat dek je. when i woke him, he said, 7 min ek...i was like, huh?? 7 minit?? kejadah ape nk kna kire senggat2 minit ni sdgkn mmg dh kna bangun lama dh..7 min tu pn x lama mane...so i kejutkan lagi..."dh, time's up"..to my suprise...he did a lil more bargaining..."ok, ok...lg 5 min." and after that 5 min dier wat lagi " ok, ok last...2 min"..dalam ati ni...in total dh 14 min...kenape x tmbh seminit lagi sng kire x...akhirnye dier bgn dier muka yg muke x bersalah...hehe..

Bile nk mandi, husband kata kna shoot email kt client jap..smalam dh mintak...ati ni berkata2 lagi...yang tp 14 minit tu bole buat kn sbnrnye...my day should be perfect...bende2 kecik mcm tu letak tepi la lgpun, macamane pn mesti dier siap dulu...bile dh siap sume....bergerak la ke PJOne yang dkt betul ngan UIA PJ...patient rini ramai la...of course, saturdays mmg ramai smcm...as Ive made appointment, I could easily walk in even before those who've reached early without appointment...supposedly appointment kul 9.30, 9.25 cmtu dier dh panggil masuk dh...ha....dup dap ni..

Bile masuk dh nampak dr Patrick Chia nye muke...sengih dier mmg sawan...hehe...tp dier sure la x sawan..sah2 dr..tp ade plak amoi kt sebelah kiri dier...sengih gak tp kurang sawannye...dr. patrick pn introduce la tu internship student wat praktikal kt situ...dr. congratulate me and husband sbb good news yang ditunggu2 dh ada...so, he said" ok, now you can go and change, i need to do some scanning." Ala-ala expert konon ak penah dtg situ, ak pn masuk la chaging area yg kne tarik langsir..ak bukak jeans and dok la kt kosi dr. tu kna angkat sebelah kaki sblah dier nk benda alah kt bawah tu nk scan..nk jd cite x bukak panties plak...haha...cover line punye pasal..ak ckp," sorry la...i almost forgot this part where this to be taken out.."..buduss ni tu pn lupe. xkn dier nk selit aje...

bile dier start scan dier ckp "wonderful..that's ur baby...the heart is beating..can you see it?" part ni la ak lemah...mmg la nampak something moving but to really understand what they are can be a lil tricky..that doesnt make me a bad mother aight...? pas dier dh capture, br la leh paham skit2...pastu dier suh pakai suar balik...this time around i x lupe la nk pakai yang tut tu okeh....duk balik kt kusi dier...dier ckp i need to see you in 2 weeks time when everything is fully developed...from my past experience, what happened to you before only happened once..so, i really need to take good care of you...something like that la..klu ak tmbh tu nk bg sdp cite..and then before chow i asked for the cd that copies all the babies movement td...one of them is posted above.

Another chance...another smile on our faces

2010-07-18T05:48:00.000-07:00

Many things happened lately...too many to mention. We managed to get back on our feet again...with encouraging supports from my loved one..nothing is impossible when we're a team...despite of being extraordinarily happy, we would like to take one step at a time, being extra careful..trying to keep things low at least for the 1st 3 months of these crucial times...however, honestly, deep deep DEEP down inside, how i couldnt thank Allah enough for the gift that shows the unconditional love of The Creator..and for this given opportunity and for what it worth, Alhamdulillah.

My husband and I have booked Dr. Patrick Chia from FMGC,a very reputable doctor from Pantai KL to be our gynae dr. this time around.he's one of the best gyneas around..thus, we chose him based on his calm and experienced look on his face, it's such a trusting look he's got.. looking at some ppl's point of view that as a govt. servant myself, that entitles me the 1st class treatment at any govt. hospital, and I still choose to go to private hospital to deliver...I personally think, it's my wish to choose which hosp or gynae im comfortable with.

Putting that aside, I would want to enjoy chance given and treasure every moment being pregnant...(didn't I mention that b4), my future post will definitely narrate every experience surveying places to get important items for my baby..it's gonna be AMAZING..till then..adios.

Downer than down

2009-09-30T20:40:00.000-07:00

Trust nobody would be my latest motto...the life that we think is revolved around the people with share things with, with no prejudice and hipocracy, sincerely and candidly expressed, ruined in an instant. I never thought what would I treat as "frens" see everything I live sore to their eyes..Definition of friendship is taken to a lower level..i always thought if family is becoming tough on me, I haf frens..if husband is grumpying, i have frens, if works excite or even burden me, I have frens...those who've been through the same sort of things..who's married..who's with commitment. who knows my deep deep secret would understand, those who understands losing many people in life in a short time, would lend a sincere shoulders to cry on...but it's all appearing great on the outside..in the inside...every tiniest details shared and known are condemned, hated and spit.

Ive been reminded many times that not to let everything I have to be shared with others, the good and the bad ones, its better that things are kept to ourselves..my husband always say "klu susah2 pn dier sanggup dtg nk ngumpat pasal si polan tu, I'm not suprised if you're the next that they're going to talk about". I hesitated by telling that I know them very well, and they know me very well too..they won't do such things..they are world's greatest fren..but, it was easier if I just listen to him..but Allah would like to let me see who these people are behind their fakes smiles and flowery words..

When I heard things I've told them and they replied in a very modest way and full of interest, with accompanying words like " cantik2, ok2.., bagus2.." i never ever thought dalam hati masing2 benci, meluat, menyampah..sbb kawan ak kongsi sume bende..sume bende yg i share you look black, i might not need friends of that sort la ppl..yes.ada yg ak sgt tersgt terhutang budi..ada yang ak x terhutang budi langsung..but all team up from many background and history to bring down another fren...thats what frens are for ke?? sian..mcm ni kot aini rase dulu ek..

Officially, I have better things to do than wasting my feeling for these craps..tp btol la..klu btol pn we commit mistakes in their eyes, not the good deeds that stay in their minds, but merely the bad ones..frens come and go, those who cry with us, those who laughs with us are the ones who understand how ppl's life change overtime..and always give their full support based on the memories shared, hati budi yg slama ni kite knal..the one who lifts us up whenever we're down, and push you up even if you're at the peak...May Allah bless because they don't have any idea what Im facing cos they're not in my shoes.. the ones that I have push me downer than down ..and I thank you all for that..

Puasa & Raya this year (2009)

2009-09-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

Heaps all..Alhamdulillah...Puasa this year has been very subtle due to weather being good and more good stuffs around. Ive been ambassadoring myself to many occasions of buka puasa with my ministry and of course my family..(both sides)..Above all, most of my bukak puasa spent with hubby at the crib or out of it..heheh.puasa taught many things substantially on how to refrain the temptation of anger,sadness, nervourness and low..it teaches me to be a better person and I even look at life from a better perspective now...May Allah bless the people who never fail to make happy, to lift me up when I feel blue, Sayang,Mama, Ayah,Adik, family members, and bless for always by Maktok n My Jannah..these are pillars to stay strong..

35days and counting...

2009-07-29T21:26:00.000-07:00

Wow..it's been really long since i last updated this blog..since I started falling in love with computer games and some tv series that killed my time. Now I'm here again doing this,filling the time of my life that runs extremely slow these days..besides not having much things to do, Im also tired of not being able to do things that are beyond my grasp..things like, attending weddings, engagements..funerals..just to name a few..it feels like being shut down from the outside world and all I got to do on daily routine IS getting proper confinement..via having "barut" wrapped up around me, "bertungku" twice a day and eat the inedible jamu..etc..

Don't get me wrong. I'm not writing this to blame on what happened to me,it's all good..plus im getting used to it and I dont know how do I restart everything again without this routine..this is the kind of a phase in my life that I've never experience before and now, I'll be expecting a lot more of it in my future pregnancies..ALSO, the baggage that comes with it..

Baggage I mean here is the surrounding providing me with responsibilities, preseverence, rapport and relationships..how can i get things be worded properly so that people won't get me wrong on this issue..? urm..being a wife at my age is very challenging..it's even more challenging when I became a wife during the time when I least expected it..very minimal ideas of what future brings and how the whole thing works...thus the baggages were mostly unnoticed and at times, unknown..

I started realizing this when I was expected to be somewhere I had to be but I couldn't, simply couldn't. Why did it happened?? What stopped me? Who to be blamed?? Could I make things right?? Could things be explained up to the extend that people can understand?? How would it be after this if the same situation happens? These questions kept haunting me and I tried to get the answers logically and intuitionally..

Question: Why did it happened??
Answer: I couldn't be where I was supposed to be due to my condition, being under proper confinement.

Question: What stopped me??
Answer: My strict & beloved parents and husband

Question: Who to be blamed?
Answer: The fate that I had to be in labour earlier than expected.

Question: Could I make things right?
Answer: Hailed by a family that stresses great importance on after-pregnancy care, nothing I can say or do to get away from it. Yes, I could make things right by letting people know in advance that I had to skip some ticked agendas due to my condition..and make it up to each of it after my confinement..it's true, I'm not like dying or something, still live and kicking but basically at home, not allowed to even pass the front gate..

Question: Can things be explained up to the extend that people can understand?
Answer: Very subjective..some people comes from diff backgrounds, where you can get back on your feet and do house chores, pay the bills at the bank 2 weeks after giving birth, yes, people will have that strength. In the long-run, nobody knows what will happen to the inner part of the body..some people might understand, some just don't. Explaning the reason to everything is not just a pleasure of one's ears to listen, but how the brain translates the reasons into logic or how the heart ignores and keeps wanting what it wants..indeed beyond my grasp..but explanation would mean something if we listen when people speaks from the heart..and it would mean nothing, if we listen too many times but never once understand what is being said..thus, it is very subjective..

Question: What would it be after this if the same situation happens?
Answer: It's not easy to please everybody, it's even more difficult to please those people have pleased you many times before..but everyone who has ventured into "family business" would prioritize the family above any other, and believe those who listened too many times and yet find ways to understand things, will eventually do understand when they get there. at the peak or at the bottom, along the line, they will come to understand the whole lot truth when life is taken to the next level..

Cakes...

2009-07-08T23:52:00.000-07:00

Lately ni byk plak dpt kek for several occasions..., so check some that I managed to capture..

Wedding!!!

2009-07-07T22:53:00.000-07:00

Sume yang kaler pink silver tu side perempuan...most of the things for the wedding were theme-like..mmg x jauh lari tajuk la..dari bilik sampai la ke khemah, sume same kaler...i think these are among the things yang best pasal kawen..preparation..getting things happen..marvellous la time tu feeling..enjoy the pics la ye. I dunno what else to elaborate.

Gambar ni time lepas nikah and sarung cincin...awwwww....

Haa.yang theme gold ni kt rumah side lelaki..di sini pengantin perempuan nmpak sedikit penutupan aurat berlaku di situ..bende yang baik ni adalah digalakkan..tapi ke'permanent'an penutupan itu Insyallah akan berlaku kelak..

Ni gambar2 kawan2 mase Degree kt UiTM Shah Alam..ramai gak budak2 IB turun datang wedding i..terharu beb. Thanks sume..yang paling mengharukan member2 Segamat pn datang..ada dr KL sampai lah ke JB..terharu tahap cipan..wedding korang nanti, shoot je la kan.klu xde aral melintang, Insyallah ak datang...

Atas ni adalah kawan2 sekolah menengah and rendah yang datang tiap2 hari sejak nikah sampai lah ke hari langsung and even rumah lelaki...thanks guys for your time, dedication...I'd come to each and every of your wedding..thanks a lot.

Iyer..mg sudah sgt2 lambat untuk letak sume gambar ni...tp, here's my wedding photos..4u2c..its better something than nothing..:)

Trip to Melacca~

2009-07-07T20:30:00.001-07:00

Trip ni lebih kurang dalam bulan Feb 2009...it was a trip with my in-laws..kedua2 adik ipar dan anak nye bersama mak mertuaku turut serta..apsal skema plak ayat ak ni...anyway, it was a sponsored 2 nite stay at Melacca Air Keroh resort..my aunty whom I call "ummi" is a member of leisure holidays group and she granted her free stay to us..Thank you so much,ummi. Thus, the only concern was that we only need to spend on food, food, and food...

We managed to visit some of the interesting places in Malacca such as Zoo Melaka, Taman Mini Malaysia, and the Malacca town itself...(i sound exactly like an essay written in school). Time malam, we all sempat drive-about the Jonker Street, it didn't look safe to walk there since it was already 9 something..and it was a week day..nothing much to see except over the weekend, you can experience the nightlife of Malacca, some sort like Petaling Street being transferred there...malam tu kitorang makan kn tepi laut..btol2 dkt ngan a'famosa and tempat naik boat trip tu.."quayside something"...it's a nice place to dine at nite with the wind whips your face like nobody's business..

Unfortunately, anak sedara i Radhi Irfan telah memberikan memori yang sukar dilupakan pada saat dan ketika itu..segala susu coklat yang dinikmatinya telah dimuakkan kepadaku bersaksikan kota a famosa yang tegak berdiri dan beberapa mat salleh yang lalu lalang..hehehe..xde la ak marah kerana naluri keibuan itu telah lahir di dalam hatiku..ttp nk membawak bau sepanjang malam tu yang ak x sanggup tu..ak rase org keliling ak x sanggup..tp ak redahhh ajerrr.....

Kebetulan dekat2 area tu tengah ada pameran tanglong...klu korang tgk gambar kt atas tu, sume rumah, klcc, menara taming sari n byk lagi..sume tu diperbuat drpd kertas dan diletakkan lampu kt dalam..mmg unik...ak punye la masyuk melayan sampaikan terlupe muntah penuh di dada...pas penat berjalan ke sana ke mari, kitorang pn balik tdo...

Malam tu, adik ipar ak dtg untuk join anak and isteri dier di Melaka, so keesokkan harinya,kami tros berjimba2 di Melaka..ak bli bakul yang cantik sbb siap ade buckle..nampak smart la di mataku ini..lupe plak nk amik gambar bakul..xpe.so, kitorang gi makan cendol, gi muzium yang banyak gilerrr kt sane tu...seperti biase husband ak suke gilerrr....mak mertua ke nek beca..beca tu pasang lagu2 60-an..so, suke la dier...hehehe..

Lagi satu, lupe nk cite..sepanjang kt sane, kitorang smpt singgah kedai nasi lemak yang kuar kt "Warung Kita" tu.tp pelik skit la cara org sane, amik sendiri, sume sendiri...nasi kna masuk pinggan sendiri..senang cite sendirian berhad la..quite and experience jugak..and lagi satu smpat gak ktorang gi Umbai Baru...best gi sane. Dok makan bersila mcm orang kampung,makan ikan sedap x hengat..sotong goreng tepung...walla...bat teringin jer lagi2 tgh dalam pantang ni..

All in all, Melacca is a nice place to go for a gateway from city's hustle and bustle..just enjoy the sceneries..inhale the fresh air of the most historic place in our country and have a refreshing memories with your loved ones. Doesn't it sound like a good holiday? it was indeed a good one for me...

My wedding hantaran

2009-07-01T21:08:00.000-07:00

This also should have been shared waayyyy earlier but I only got time to get it done today. All my hantarans were prepared by my mom and maktok. Basically, they're all authentic ideas of ours that make them more special...ciplak here and there to get the best output tu ada la skit2..hehe. neway, these hantarans are based on the color pink and silver, my wedding color theme as the overall theme was garden wedding...besides hantaran, the pelamin where the bride and groom sat is also included in one of the photos here.

I'm mostly thankful to my family that made my dream wedding a reality..not that elaborate and costly, very cost effective and satisfying..klu kuar duit banyak tp bende tu x mcm kite nk pn x best gak kn.Make up I rase x la ala2 nk wat show Jom Heboh and harap sume puas hati. For those that I didn't get to invite, I'm very much sorry sbb maybe during the chaotic time tu, it simply slipped my mind. Wedding is to be remembered for as long as we live, and I'm going to carry that nice feeling forever...enjoy the pics!!

Peedee~

2009-06-30T22:03:00.000-07:00

Let's go back in time la...ni dalam bulan Jan 2009 dulu kot kitorang gi sane..banyak tmpt yang kitorang pegi especially muzium..tempat fevret my husband..byk gak la muzium kt M'sia kami dh jelajahi..dr yang free sampai la yang bayar mahal...muzium mcm nite at the museum tu je kitorg lom gi lagi...akan datang kot ek.Mase ni mmg mcm honeymoon + family vacation la sbb mase tu mmg baru kawen...not many things to tell and I guess the pics speak better than my writing...hehe..

Maktok

2009-06-30T19:54:00.000-07:00

This particular photo was taken on 17/05/09, exactly one week before Maktok passed away... i never thought that this would be our last photo together. May Allah bless her for always..amin.

This should be written before what happened to Jannah, but anyhow, I'm going backwards..tak kesah la ek. Asalkan i update...this is dedicated lovably to my Late Maktok, Patimah @ Zaliha Ahmad. One thing I never forget about her is name is that she's so used to be called Leha..so, bile i bawak maktok gi bank amik pencen, ke mane2 la tempat yang perlu name dier dipanggil, org akan panggil Patimah Ahmad, maktok i ni leh wat dono x hengat nyer...dekat 2-3 kali la sampai org tu panggil full name, baru dier bertindak refleks dan bangun..hahaha..so let's me share some stories about this iron lady, Patimah Ahmad..@maktok..

She was born on 15/02/38..zaman Jepun nk dkt2 attack Malaya, so maktok slalu cite makcik dier akan dukung dier yang mase tu umur dalam 2-3 thn sembunyi bawah tanah.so, she survived her early days.Dibesarkan oleh maktoknye di dalam family yang akan senang at that time, sbb mase time maktok 16 thn dier dh gi Haji ngan maktok dier. Balik je dr Mekkah, tros kawen ngan Tok Wan i atas dasar pilihan keluarga...i dok bayang la, klu la i idup time tu, sure i meronta2 mintak dikahwin kan dengan pilihan hati ini.ahaks..time tu maybe sume pompuan ikut cakap and x gediks.

Bile kawen jer, start la kehidupan dier yang sebnarnye..and the trials she got never stop. Idup berpindah randah satu Malaya sbb Tok Wan keje polis hutan...and last skali maktok tinggal kt flat pekeliling dkt ngan bulatan Pahang tu.Satu petang Tok Wan nk gi men badminton..mmg dier slalu gi pon..tp ptg tu maktok kata, dier tros pegi, x cium anak2, tros..and maktok hanye nampak kelibat Tok Wan dr tingkat paling atas bile di tinjau ke bawah..selang sejam or so la..sorry la.cite ni x mungkin accurate dr segi mase dan ketika sbb mase dgr cite ni melopong jer.bukan jer tulis wat catatan ke...idok le kan zaman kanak2 dulu...klu ada tulis pn time amik order pelanggan mase men restoran2 dolu2..hehe..ok.ok.dh menyimpang nih..

Selang sejam, ada polis datang rumah beritahu yang Tok Wan meninggal dunia mase men badminton.he got sudden heart attack. Mmg terkejut thap 10 la time tu. Maktok siapkan anak2 yang mase tu ada 6 orang, yang paling kecik 4 bulan..bagi karipap yang dh siap prepare untuk breakfast besok kt jiran sebelah...and chow balik Klang..tempat sume family maktok ada...setitik pn air mata die x jatuh, mungkin akibat terkejut dan mungkin juga sbb x tau reaction macamane paling sesuai nk di potraykan pada time tu...

Balik lah berbondong2 sume mereka ke Klang..sampai2 je, blom mayat masuk dalam rumah, datang lah seorang ahli keluarga maktok, " Eh Leha...mcmane ko nk idup ni?". Maktok kata time tu sedihnye mendengarkn soklan yg dier sendiri x boleh jawab,bontot pn x letak, mayat pn x masuk lagi..dengan tenang Maktok jawab.."Allah ada.."
Sejak kematian Tok Wan, Maktok develop jadi wanita yang paling strong..and life dier mmg dier dedicated kn untuk anak2 dan cucu2 dier..and ada juga mulut jahat yang kata "Kawen je lah..sampai bile orang nk tanggung kite?" Setakat bagi tolong x sampai RM50 sebulan anak2 yatim 6 orang, mcm2 kata nesta orang boleh lempar..bile kite kt bawah,xde upaya dan harta bende..mmg the reality of life kicks in..manusia ni kadang2 mmg sgt kejam..

When I'm born into this world, Maktok yang time tu kerja Kemas sanggup benti keje sbb nk jaga i. Dier yang ajar i how to tackle life and jangan cpt melatah dengan orang sekeliling kite. Klu kite makan nasi dengan garam kt rumah, hanye kite je yang tau..klu maktok amik kain2 lame buat baju raye anak2, xde sape tau..klu maktok ikat perut hanye minum air teh untuk bg anak2 makan mase bulan puase..sape yang tau dan sape yang tolong?? xde sape. Bukan orang di luar sane..so, let it be if ppl wanna talk bout us because nobody gave a damn for whatever happens in our lives..

Tanggal 24/05/09, titik hitam dalam my life, Allah telah tarik balik insan sangat kuat, sangat tabah menghadapi hidup yang telah Dia pinjamkan kepada anak, cucu dan saudara2 lain, dan tidak ade ape yang Mak Tok tidak sempat buat. Her business is over and she needs to rest until the hereafter. Maktok sempat pesan thru phone, "Jadi isteri yang baik, bg hati kite hanye pada orang yang kite kahwini..Wan jage Her betol2 x?? " Itulah ayat2 terakhir maktok for me. She wanted to makesure what she left behind is all in good condition. Maktok belek magazine pengantin bertimbun2 untuk buat satu sirih junjung untuk wedding i. Ya Allah, ko letakkan Maktok di tempat yang paling baik dikalangan orang yang Kau sayang because she deserves it. She shaped my life in so many ways and this heart beats the same rhythym as hers...Al-Fatihah..

Iris Nur Jannah bt. Mohd Izwan

2009-06-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

Dh lame x coret ape2 di sini sbb terlalu sibuk dengan kerje baru...my pregnancy was one of the reasons why Ive been so wrapped up with my life...morning sickness yang agak boleh tahan buatkan sume nyer jd nk melepak jer...ada kawan2 suh update blog sbb bleh la share experience mase pregnant..letak gamba perot dh besar..posing2 skit..masalah nyer mase tu mukan saje mase tp dengan terlupe password lah..ape lah...wat tempat ni tak berpenghuni kejap...and I also wouldn't know that when I'm writing this, I'm not longer pregnant.

Sepanjang pregnantkan Jannah, we always have our lil chat together..but dont get me wrong la...nanti korang igtkan i dh gile meroyan plak skrg..it's just that I slalu ckp ngan dier yang many things happened recently and I couldn't afford to lose anything right now especially her..since my beloved maktok passed away in shocked...and many tiny tiny problems lingered around, buat i rase sangat penat mentally..sgt2 penat..so tempat i meluahkan perasaan is either at my husband or my baby..slalu ckp ngan dier yang dier kna save me and make me happy when she's born sbb ibu (myself) really needs someone to love and care..and the one yang akan slalu ade for me keep myself bz..lupakan maktok dh xde..bile2 husband outstation and all that..otak ni lagi ligat nk pk pasal bende2 yang wat myself lonely and Jannah je wat i rase filled and x la dikira monologue walaupun hanye bercakap ngan baby dalam perut...

That 19/06 memang dinanti-nantikan sbb i dh wat prior arrangement to get leave on Friday tu untuk pegi check up. Pendek kata, the whole weekend punye plan dh siap dh sbb xnk ter miss out anything and Jannah punye development dpt tau detail lagi...slalunye ak sendiri dh bosan bace babycenter.Most of the them Ive skipped the pages where I didn't follow weekly update untuk baby.I slalu tgk ape nk jadi the following2 week.x sabar nk Jannah besar dalam perut..so, my husband and I cuti ari Jumaat 19hb tu untuk check up Jannah..mase tu xtau lagi Jannah ni gurl ke boy...mmg hati ade skit x sedap x tau knape tp I always keep that positive thinking so I'd feel better..

Once scanned, Doc Hamid Arshat dh kerut2 muke, ckp baby nyer kepala x besar seperti sepatutnye at this stage..ati ni tuhan jer yang tau..dh la kite xde experience nk handle bende2 gini..Doc advised suh gi for 3D scanning to get the clearer view of what's going on with the baby..and he thought she's a girl...as I always wanted..
So, dier dh arrangekn appointment with Dr. Patrick in Tmn Tun, so, me and husband headed home with confusion...kitorang duk rumah and start untuk pk positive jerr through out the day and the next day br nak pk ape nk jadi...

Since my husband dh wat prior planning for the inter-dept futsal in Jotun, we decided that I go to that place first alone and he'd come later after the games finished. Nk cari tempat tu skit nyer susah...bkn tempt tu susah..direction yang di bagi x same langsung..bile dh jumpe, penuh le plak ngan org yang ntah pukul bape dh sampai..when I registered, I was relieve to know that not many ppl would be seeing Dr. Patrick as compared to 2 other doctors...

As he checked my tummy, he said I think this baby is abnormal la...Ya Allah..x tau nk react mcmane dh..pastu dier tunjuk la scan screen tu yang not many of it I understand..nk nangis pn x terkeluar air mata,maybe sbb ak sorg mase tu and still cube untuk faham yang baby masih ada harapan survive. Then he said, "She wouldn't be able to survive long after birth..2-3 hours tops..."That's more heart wrenching and breaking...I called my husband, and when answered, mase tu mmg nk nangis sgt....tp i x nk dier breakdown, i explain slowly...and he said he would come that very moment and tros shoot gi clinic Dr Hamid sbb I pn nk kesana gak pastu nk dptkn explanation Dr Hamid plak..

Mase jumpe kt sane...dh nk nanges sgt2 dh..tp Dr Hamid Arshat ckp sume ni dugaan..mmg dugaan tp kitorang x paham ape yang berlaku..ape yang cause that thing, how to avoid, so on so forth la..tp x terjawab...kitorang balik asing sbb bawak 2 keta. sampai rumah, letak je punggung, i couldnt control it anymore, I just broke down and cried with my husband...banyak btol dugaan yang ak alami...sampai x tersanggup nk hadap lagi satu loss...clueless on what to do next..lost!

When we came to our senses back, we realised that all we've been informed were not ample enough to support any decision making we'd make..., thus, husband i tros kol kawan baik dier whom is a doctor but after birth specialist..she then introduced us to another doc who can help us with his 2nd opinion..baru la ak ada ruang nk bernafas...and the appointment was set up to take place on Monday..

Thar Monday, bgn awal skit untuk that appointment in SMC and luckily ade cousin sis from my dad's side keje sane, so, with her lil help here and there, rase mcm senang ati la skit..the day before pn i got many opinion fr many ppl on how things will fall into "harus" if the baby cndition could affect me..mufti's opinion was also sought, and it's all harus,harus,harus to let go..but we hadnt decided yet. It's all based on this doc's opinion that would lead us to our final decision...

As expected, this comforting Dr. elobarated on how things are, what could be the cause and the things can potentially happen..so, my husband and I pn further discuss about it and we decided what to be done next..

Guys, I can only share up until here, and just so you know, giving birth is not an easy task...thus cherish our parents while they are still around and the say, Syurga di bawah telapak kaki Ibu, Man..., it's indeed true. Im not telling what I did was astonishing, but, all mommys deserve that high caste..may Allah bless my baby girl, my Iris Nur Jannah..Ibu will never forget how we share intimate moments talking and losing you is the worst experience I ever had...Ibu will always love you and include you in my prayer..as long as I live. Amin..

Finally we're One

2009-01-28T05:41:00.001-08:00

For all this time, everyone kept teasing bile kuar je "nk gi survey ke?" ke "nk gi bincang?", which in a way sounds funny only that we're wearing our own shoes!! So, ngan seriousnye we both akan reply "tak..kali ni nk bli tros".haha.which in a way not true since we were still surveying..having done with discussing, fighting, effort-giving, sweat dripping, and not to mention, disagreeing..we managed to put everything together into a reality...which is our wedding..simple but nice, i quote a fren of mine...tp the most satisfying thing of all is that we're finally one. The moment the akad is thru, that's when I succumb my life for you, Sayang

The day was enduring when I had to drench in sweat waiting for my mak andam to come that took eternity. Dier ckp nk dtg kul 1 pastu postponed kul 2 sbb "you nk nikah pas asar kn Zazzil..shud be okay la kul 2.aleh2, 2.30 dier sampai..ape lagi..chaos is my game la. Agak kelam kabut sbb dier punye technics quite time consuming gak..and all I know kt luar rumah, org dh ramai sampai. Member2 yg setia datang x penah jemu tu pn dh start msk bilik..muke dorg tu the last i nk tgk sbb dr muke dorg tu membayangkan jgk sume dlm ati dorg, dh bleh bace. Ada yg nk membahan..standard la bdak2 ni.But, it was such a relieve. Dh siap and ready to get to the surau..nk kawen beb.

Yang paling culture shock tu cameraman and videoman yg kerumun amik gambar x henti2. I pn dh alah2 segan gitu tp what the heck, "It's my wedding". I pn wat posing2 manje skit. Tp since videoman tu kawan husband i, x manje sgt la.(hehehe). Bergerak ke kereta, memberku, Ita, bermurah hati mendriverkn dirinye untuk membawa member2 and myself ke surau. That's the time masing2 naik Murano yg argenye kalu beli "MERANO DEN"...paling lawak, cameramen suh i lambai kt tingkap..ni mmg bukan bende yg i wat ari2, dan member len dh start pandang senget dh bergelak-gelak.."Lawak dow, Er...".abes tu " Arini je weh..., ak pn rase lawak gak..". Dan sume pn start gelak dan sedar x sedar, the moving Murano has reached the destined destination, where I meet my destiny...

Our fable started as 2 colleagues working together and with no intention at all to get serious as serious as being married to each other. No hanky- panky, nothing. Just-plain friend. But if HE has fated this to be the what it should be, then be what it is. We both cherish, adore and will keep this sacred love forever with all His blessings.Insyallah.

Skytrekking expedition......

2008-11-11T15:45:00.000-08:00

Haha...this one...really created gilaaa experience for us..not just us lar, I think the rest who went the other day really thought so...I've never been anything near death until that day...So, it all started at around 12 pm when everyone gathered at the main entrance of Bukit Cahaya Sri Alam (previously known as Bukit Cerakah)..some with eager faces and some were thinking twice whether or not to continue with their so-called adventurous debut..the proof of our feats are tagged along. If you think you can, you can!! (rite, Steven?)hehe..

The beginning...

2008-11-11T15:23:00.000-08:00

Our chronicle is not as cliche as everyone else..the blog is created in the name of worship, respect, esteem, honor & love of what we share together. As we both embark into the marriage life that can be tough & demanding, but also blissful and jovial..nothing to brag about..this is a little something that keep us going as one...muahx